Helping Children Build Skills for Adulthood:
Why Future Planning Starts Earlier Than You Think
By Michaela E. Gordon, OTR/L
No one expects a young child to wake up one day and suddenly know how to navigate the world independently. Yet from the very beginning, children are naturally drawn to the adult world. They are generally eager to imitate us.
They pretend to cook in toy kitchens, answer toy phones, push shopping carts, dress up as doctors, teachers, firefighters, veterinarians, parents, and construction workers. They proudly announce they’re “going to work.” They want to stir the batter, carry the groceries, water the plants, push the vacuum, and help with whatever the adults around them are doing.
These moments may seem like simple play, but they’re actually some of childhood’s most important occupations.
Through observation, imitation, role-playing, repetition, and participation in everyday routines, children develop motor skills, executive functioning, communication, emotional regulation, self-esteem, and social-emotional skills. Every experience helps strengthen the foundation they’ll use throughout their lives.
As occupational therapists, we know these everyday experiences aren’t simply helping children succeed today. They’re laying the foundation for tomorrow.
Why Think About Adulthood During Childhood?
Every parent hopes their child grows into an adult who experiences meaningful relationships, purpose, opportunities, and as much independence and choice as possible.
For families raising children with disabilities or neurodivergence, these hopes often come with additional questions.
- Will my child go to college?
- Will they work?
- Will they live independently?
- Will they need lifelong support?
- How can I prepare them without taking away their childhood?
As occupational therapists, we don’t wait until adulthood to think about adulthood.
Rather than asking only, “What does this child need today?” we also ask the following:
- What kind of life do they hope to have?
- What are their strengths?
- What interests motivate them?
- What supports help them thrive?
- What opportunities can we create today that may expand their choices tomorrow?
Why This Matters
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, only 22.7% of people with disabilities were employed in 2024, compared with 65.5% of people without disabilities.
Additionally, adults with disabilities are less likely to complete higher education. In 2025, approximately 24% of adults with disabilities (ages 25 and older) had earned a bachelor’s degree or higher, compared with 42% of adults without disabilities.
For students who attend college, another major transition occurs after high school. The protections provided under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) no longer apply. Students must disclose their disability, request accommodations, communicate with professors, manage their schedules, and advocate for themselves.
These statistics aren’t meant to define any one child’s future. Every child and family is unique, with different strengths, values, goals, and resources. Every person’s path will look different, and many individuals with disabilities go on to pursue higher education, meaningful careers, independent living, and fulfilling lives. Rather, these numbers remind us why intentionally building life skills throughout childhood is so important.
I believe employment, higher education, independent living, and community participation can continue to improve as we increase awareness, provide meaningful supports, and intentionally help children develop the everyday skills they’ll need long before they become adults.
What Research Has Taught Us
Decades of research have consistently shown that when developmental concerns are identified early and children receive appropriate intervention, they often experience improvements in communication, adaptive behavior, developmental skills, school readiness, and family outcomes (Anderson et al., 2003; Pak et al., 2023).
Therefore, I believe that if we intentionally begin building the skills children will eventually need—not all at once, but gradually over many years—we give them more opportunities to participate successfully as adolescents and adults.
Every Skill a Child Learns Today Creates More Opportunities for Tomorrow
One of the beautiful things about childhood is that learning happens through everyday experiences. A toddler helping stir pancake batter may one day prepare meals independently. A child choosing between two outfits is learning decision-making and expressing preferences. Helping carry groceries develops healthy interdependence and confidence. There are many more opportunities just like these that develop skills needed for the future.
Occupational therapists often see something much bigger than the task itself. For instance, we don’t just see a child buttoning a shirt. We see a child learning:
- Bilateral coordination
- Motor planning
- Problem-solving
- Persistence
- Frustration tolerance
- Executive functioning
- Confidence
Every small skill becomes part of something much bigger.
Childhood Is Practice for Adulthood
Learning doesn’t only happen during therapy sessions. It happens during everyday moments when children are making mistakes, trying again, and gradually developing new skills. Sometimes these moments are messy. Other times they’re frustrating. Sometimes our children resist, have meltdowns, and when we’re running late, it’s simply easier for parents to do the task for them. And sometimes that’s exactly what they need.
At the same time, if we always step in, children lose opportunities to practice. Those missed opportunities can gradually become patterns, which may shift expectations over time and eventually become barriers if we lose sight of the bigger picture.
One question I often encourage families to ask is:
“Is this something my child might be able to learn with practice?”
If the answer is yes, it’s probably worth creating opportunities to practice—even if progress happens slowly.
The World Has Changed
Technology has transformed daily life to the point that much of what we do now happens through the little computers we carry in our pockets. We use technology to organize our lives, communicate, socialize, make appointments, pay bills, and order what we need.
These advances have created incredible opportunities and increased accessibility for many individuals with disabilities. At the same time, children today may have fewer natural opportunities to practice talking with unfamiliar people, solving unexpected problems, navigating community environments, or advocating for themselves.
Future planning isn’t about avoiding technology. Rather, it’s about intentionally creating meaningful opportunities to practice the skills children will need throughout life. In many ways, we have to be more purposeful than previous generations because everyday life no longer provides as many natural opportunities to develop these skills.
For example, many of us rely on our phones to keep track of appointments, reminders, and notes. But what if your child one day has a job where phones aren’t permitted during the workday? Will they have had opportunities to practice writing information down, remembering directions, organizing tasks, or using other strategies to stay on track if they need to?
Future planning isn’t about insisting every child master every task. It’s about preserving options.
There Is No One Right Destination
There isn’t one definition of a successful adulthood. Some adults attend college, some learn a trade, some work full-time, while others volunteer. Some live independently, while others choose to live with family. Some will be largely independent, while others may always require significant support. All of these lives can be meaningful.
Our goal isn’t independence at all costs, but rather participation in a life that feels meaningful and purposeful to each individual. To achieve that, children need opportunities to make choices, develop skills, and practice using those skills over time.
A Free Resource for Families
To help families begin thinking about these skills, I created the Functional Independence & Transition Skills Checklist, a simple planning tool.
It helps families recognize their child’s strengths, identify areas where additional support may be helpful, prioritize meaningful goals, and think ahead about the everyday experiences that build confidence, independence, and participation over time.
Whether your child is a toddler, a teenager, or a young adult, it’s never too early—or too late—to begin building these skills.
My hope is that this checklist simply helps you begin thinking about what may come next. If you’d like to get started, download the checklist below.
This step-by-step tool can be completed independently, with your healthcare provider(s), or by a teen or adult. It can serve as a living document to help identify strengths, prioritize goals, and explore where additional supports or advocacy may be helpful.
➡ Functional Independence & Transition Skills Checklist
Wishing you all health, joy, and all the wonder that life has to offer!
References
Anderson, L. M., Shinn, C., Fullilove, M. T., Scrimshaw, S. C., Fielding, J. E., Normand, J., & Carande-Kulis, V. G. (2003). The effectiveness of early childhood development programs: A systematic review. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 24(3 Suppl), 32–46. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0749-3797(02)00655-4
Guralnick, M. J. (2017). Early intervention for children with intellectual disabilities: An update. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 30(2), 211–229. https://doi.org/10.1111/jar.12233
Pak, N. S., Chow, J. C., Dillehay, K. M., & Kaiser, A. P. (2023). Long-term effects of early communication interventions: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 66(8), 2884–2899. https://doi.org/10.1044/2023_JSLHR-22-00608
U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2025). Persons with a disability: Labor force characteristics—2024.
U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2026). People with a disability: Labor force characteristics—2025.
U.S. Government Accountability Office. (2024). Higher education: Education could improve information on accommodations for students with disabilities (GAO-24-105614).
“Every skill a child learns today creates more opportunities for tomorrow.”
